


Planship

by Missy



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Childbirth, Ensemble Cast, F/M, Humor, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 02:32:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11393544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: The road to Luke's birth is fraught with ridiculousness, but Tracy and Ted weather it well.





	Planship

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Measured](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Measured/gifts).



“Hello, all of you beautiful people in Tracy’s womb!” 

She laughed uncontrollably at his chosen words, round belly jiggling against his ear. “Please, please put it another way,” she gasped out “And put it in another voice - I don’t think I could take any more of your silly squeaky voice without peeing my pants.”

“But you love the Mister Snuffalupagus voice!” He spoke to her navel again. “What do you think, Luke?”

Her belly actually squirmed against his mouth and she moaned at the mild pain. “Luke’s three months away from being born,” Tracy pointed out. “He totally doesn’t get a say yet!”

“Looks like he has one already,” he said happily. “That means double the Mister Snuffy voice!”

She grabbed his head between her hands and laughed uncontrollably, that beautiful Tracy laugh that filled his heart and cleaned his mind and made him feel like a rational human being again. He kissed the corner of her mouth and stared down at her adoringly until she stopped laughing and relaxed into the pillows.

Then she spoke. And what his beloved said was, “Ted, I love you a lot. But I really have to go pee.” 

He shifted out of the way to let her past.

*** 

“So do you feel like your ankles are going to pop yet?”

Tracy paused, a piece of pizza halfway to her mouth, one eyebrow up. “That’s…a thing you feel when you’re pregnant?” She was nine months in and had wicked heartburn and needed to pee constantly, and sometimes her ankles swelled but it was never that dramatic.

Lily shrugged. “When I was pregnant with Marvin I felt like my bladder was going to explode along with my brain and whatever was left of my spine.”

“…That’s super vivid and gross,” Tracy laughed nervously.

“Pregnancy is super vivid and gross,” she said, and the two women happily toasted. When Robin entered the room talk immediately shifted back to the Superbowl and how they were going to spend it.

“Hopefully not in a hospital bed,” said Tracy.

“Me either,” Robin said. “Knowing what I know about the way these losers celebrate the Superbowl someone’s gonna have to have their stomach pumped.”

“God, I hope it doesn’t come to that,” Tracy said. It was the first year they’d all be together since Barney and Robin’s remarriage and she didn’t want anything to ruin the party.

*** 

She went into labor just as the game went into overtime. Because of course she did.

“Stay calm,” Marshall said, trying to give the situation his lawyerlike aura of calmative wisdom. Unfortunately, he was wearing a cheesehead and a face full of green paint, so all Tracy could think was that she was going to give birth in the back of Marshall and Lily’s knock off Volvo, that the first thing Luke would see was his uncle Marshall dressed up like a clown and his father wearing a dumb Giants Jersey.

Ted wrapped his arms protectively around her. “Look on the bright side - maybe his first words will be ‘Go Packers’”

She clutched Ted’s arm and laughed between groans; gingerly he walked her out of the room, with Barney two paces behind them, Robin getting her bag, Lily and Marshall getting the car.

The last thing she heard before the next clamping contraction took her concentration was Barney yelling to Marshall that he’s won their bet.


End file.
